2013 and 2014 were pretty grueling years for a lot of people. At least for people I have talked with or know personally. A lot of upheaval and change was experienced by many people during this time, and a lot of people hunkered down in a sort of protective crouch (a spiritual fetal position, as it were) while waiting for it all to pass over.
For us it was a complete restructuring of our life and our daily rhythms. We were surprised with a sudden ending of our old way of getting by, and spent several months processing all of the ramifications of that and working out what to do next. In my protective crouch, extending myself in a spiritual way (for instance, by writing in this blog), felt wrong. It was time to pull in the oars and let the current take us in the direction we needed to go. This we did, feeling jumpy and a bit dazed a lot of the time, but as the new configuration emerged, the old one gradually faded away.
When big change is about to happen, our energy tends to become more inwardly focused, contracting a bit while all of the particulars are being worked out and arranged on causal and energetic levels (although we often aren’t even aware of that – we just tend to think that we are feeling disconnected and out of sorts). And then our energy becomes expansive and things start falling into place, sometimes in a way that almost feels like magic.
So a few months ago I began to feel a sense that we had passed through the falling apart stage, and were beginning the stage of putting it all back together in a new way. I started feeling prompted to do new things, or do old things in new ways. I decided to turn the bulk of my energies in a different direction than before; to let most of the food garden go, and start exploring new ideas that felt like they were being given to me like a gift. I asked that I be given or shown the best possible work for me. The next day after asking this, the designs for some decorative tables came fully formed into my mind. I drew out the designs and started getting the workshop ready to begin making the tables a reality.
As I was working, ideas about how to do things emerged in my mind fully formed. And when I had a question about the best way to do something, the answer would also emerge in my mind fully formed. Having said all of that, there still is room for improvisation and experimentation. For instance, the piece of barn wood I was working with for the prototype table had a large crack in it. I didn’t want to use a good piece of wood for a table I didn’t intend to sell. I decided to experiment around to see if it would be possible to use the crack as a decorative element. I learned that with the barn wood, most things that could be done to it are essentially gilding the lily, and I decided to leave it alone and not add any decorative elements to it. So it’s definitely a collaborative effort.
I was also given the complete outline of a book during this time; beginning, middle, and end. I hope to have time to write it some time in the not too distant future. It’s a children’s book that addresses issues of native species disappearing because of being unable to compete with introduced species. This story uses ladybugs as the species that is unable to compete.
As I am in the process of manifesting the new energies I’m experiencing, I often feel the presence of old energies as they are being cleared out. Energies that have to do with scarcity, fear, insecurity, and inadequacy. I have been learning to acknowledge these energies as I perceive them, and then let them go. I still have some work to do on that, but I’m making progress.
So it’s good to have a sense of direction again, and to feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.